I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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