Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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