I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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