Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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