Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize