wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Randomize
