I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
