so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Bring me that man meat
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
