yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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