Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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