Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
