FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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