why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
