My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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