And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
