tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
