Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
