Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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