I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
