Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
