You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
