Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
