That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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