she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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