no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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