When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
