omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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