I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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