in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
