Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
