yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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