i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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