Don't make out with my wife yet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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