Who wears a wallet chain?!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize