I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
