so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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