by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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