mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize