I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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