I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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