worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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