I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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