Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need water and some morals
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
