she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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