I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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