And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
