Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
