I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
