I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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