I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
