What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
