I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
