...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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