I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
