dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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