bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
