Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just tell him i said nine months
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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