Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
