So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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