Duck Duck Cougar?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize