never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
