What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
