I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
