is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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