Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
