I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
